Post by Kinsley Patterson on Jan 17, 2022 16:58:38 GMT
Maria came and told Kinsley she had to save the geeks first. Then an old Volkswagen van rode up to them and stopped. Kinsley cocked her head slightly to the side; was this thing electric or something? She was surprised to see Luke, Naomi and Kyle and they were so friendly to offer them a ride out of there. Johnny looked up to them and urged them to get in right after Ray had eagerly jumped in. Maria pulled Jozel in and Kinsley looked at Gabby and shrugged. Then, she, Gabby and Shay got in but Kellen hesitated and stopped.
"What are you doing Kelso!?" Kinsley asked from the side opening of the van. "Get in!"
"N-N-No!" Kellen answered. "If we run, we look guilty!"
"Uh newflash! We are guilty!"
"No Kinsley, you're guilty! I didn't do anything wrong!"
Gabby now poked her head out as well. "Kellen, don't be an idiot come on!" she spoke.
"NO!" Kellen yelled. "You guys went too far this time! I won't risk everything I've worked for! Not this time!"
"Guys, we REALLY have to go!" Shay interfered.
Tears started forming in Gabby's face. "Kellen!" she cried out once more, but Kellen just turned around and walked away. Kinsley pulled Gabby in as Ray shut the door. Kyle then put the vehicle in motion as Gabby just watch at Kellen from behind the window. Kinsley was starting to realize it was really crowded in the back of the van and she had to sit on Ray's lap.
"Whoa Kinsley, at least buy me dinner first!" Ray joked.
"Oh please!" Kinsley responded. "You should be happy! Like this isn't the closest you've ever gotten to touching a girl's butt!"
"She's got a point there bro!" Johnny laughed. "Try not to... uh... 'poke' her with anything alright?"
"Yo I'm driving us to the cove!" Kyle said. "Skatepark's probably the first place they'll go looking!"
"Speaking of skaters, check it out!" Shay spoke.
Kinsley looked back and saw that her brother and his skater friends were hitching a ride at the back of the van on their skateboards. Kinsley sighed and shook her head.
"Don't drive too wild willya?" Kinsley said to Kyle. "I'm in enough trouble as it already back home! Don't need to add 'killing brother' to that list as well!"
Once they arrived at the cove, Gabby got out first and ran off to the surf. Kinsley knew she was probably very upset about Kellen and what he just did and knew her friend would need some comforting.
"Yo, we'll get a fire going." Johnny said. "Anyone able to snag something from the bar?"
"Got you covered!" Shay answered as she took the bottle Claudia had bought them from her satchel.
Kinsley looked at Maria and nodded her to follow her to Gabby. Gabby just sat there, staring at the ocean.
"How could he do that to me!?" Gabby asked once she noticed Kinsley and Maria behind her. "He just... left us... left me!"
Kinsley sighed. She didn't know what had gotten into Kellen. "I don't know..." she answered. "Maybe he just... I don't know, maybe you just scared him a bit you know?"
"Scared him!? How!?"
"Well... you know... you kinda surprised us too charging Callie like that. I mean, you had like every right to but it's kinda... 'uncharacteristic' of you, y'know?"
Kinsley looked at Maria and shrugged. It was silent for a moment, then Gabby spoke again.
"How do you guys do it?" Gabby asked.
Kinsley was confused. "Do what?" she answered.
"This. That 'devil-may-care' attitude. It's like you guys are never afraid, no matter what!"
"What do you mean Gabs? We get afraid too y'know?"
"No you don't! Today was the most terrified I've been since everything began! I tried to hide it but every minute we were out there, I was terrified! I mean, one moment we're cleaning an ambulance, then the next we're helping in the hospital, then we get sent on this errand out there, then the barfight and you guys just act like it's business as usual!"
Kinsley shuffled her foot in the sand and rubbed her neck. She had no idea Gabby had been that scared all day.
"And now I'm scared I've lost Kellen!" Gabby continued.
Kinsley felt a bit ashamed. Was it their fault? Had they gone too far?
"Must be great to never be afraid." Gabby spoke. "To just... go with the flow and don't give a shit. I tried to be like you guys, but I... I just can't!"
Kinsley looked at Maria, then stared at the ground. Maybe they did have some sort of conditioning others who weren't in the forest with Claudia hadn't. She had no idea it was so obvious to others though. But Gabby was wrong about one thing though.
"I... pissed myself." Kinsley suddenly said.
"What?" Gabby asked confused.
Kinsley sighed. "That day Big Dick took over and they killed uncle Abe... The night we had to run to the forest."
"I don't get it." Gabby answered. "What are you saying?"
Kinsley hated bringing it up but maybe it would help Gabby understand. Kinsley sat down on a piece of dry driftwood next to them.
"That stretch of land from the gate to the treeline..." Kinsley continued. "They were shooting at us. I could hear the bullets whistling right next to my ears, some of them impacting in the ground next to me and even between my legs... I was so sure that any second I was going to get hit, so afraid I'd die... I remember tears running down my face as I ran, my legs getting heavier with every step I took, my breath getting more shallow. I was so certain I was going to die before I could get to the trees."
Kinsley paused for a moment. She could feel how she felt that night again, and it was difficult. She had tried her best to forget but talking about it brought tears to her eyes.
"After we had some cover we regrouped and Claudia and Jake led us further into the woods." Kinsley went on. "During the walk, after I had calmed down some I noticed my pants were wet. When I felt it my hand smelled like urine. I knew I had been so afraid that I pissed myself while I was running. And I stayed afraid the days after; cold, hungry, thinking I'd never see my parents or Allie again. I was practically catatonic during that time, that's how afraid I was."
Kinsley looked at Maria. She hadn't escaped with them that night, and Kinsley had never told Maria about it either.
"Then, after a few days, Claudia started shouting orders." Kinsley continued. "She kept us busy, got our minds off our fears, trained us. And the thing is, when you get your ass kicked on a regular basis, and someone forces you to constantly push your body over the limit, you start to realize your body and mind can take a lot of punishment and people don't die so easily. You don't die so easily. And the more you realize that... the less afraid you become."
Kinsley paused for a second, looked at Gabby and hoped she understood what she was saying.
"So... yeah..." Kinsley spoke again. "If I seem unafraid it's because I compare everything to that first night, when I was the most afraid I've ever been in my entire life. And up until now, nothing's even gotten close to that. Do I still get afraid? Of course. I mean, I was afraid for cousin Mal this afternoon, for Ziggy and the others, hell even Claudia. But nothing compares to that one night, and because of it my fear doesn't control me anymore. That's as best as I can explain it Gabs, I'm sorry."
Kinsley wiggled her feet in the sand. She looked at Maria, maybe she had something to say to Gabby as well. Her own experience from getting shot in the leg maybe. In any case, Gabby remained silent and Kinsley didn't know whether or not she was getting through to her.